This blog is a gift to my wife, Renee, and my children, Adele, Athan, Audrey, Anne, Amelia, and Andrea.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

2019: A Year in Review - Part I: Year Overview

I had tried starting this post before the coronavirus outbreak, but did not get any progress until now.  It's April 11, 2020 and I've been home since before March Break, which would make this the start of week #5.  Not sure if this is affecting anyone else, but I feel especially lethargic from a work perspective, having to stay home all the time.  But I will push through this lethargy and complete this post today!  If you see this on April 11, you'll know I succeeded!

In general, 2019 was somewhat eventful, but it really went by like a blur and nothing stuck out as a highlight.  Perhaps it wasn't the greatest of years as you'll soon read about.  Or maybe, it might be because I didn't have any newborn this year! ;)  But I'm glad I'm going through this exercise of looking back.  Otherwise, the year would have passed and I would not have reflected more upon it.  And isn't being conscious and being able to reflect on past events what separates us from other creatures in this world?

Annual Tradition - Gambling & Eating Steak

This has become a bit of an annual tradition.  It started way back in 2008 (?) when the Great Recession was running in high gear and it seemed like everything was on discount.  Hotels were not the least affected and had some pretty great deals that winter.  Kelvin (Lai Chuen), my cousin and I would enjoy the packaged deals from Four Points Fallsview to stay for a night, get some "free" chips from the casino and coupons from local restaurants (which lowered the cost of the highly priced food back to normal prices).

Isn't gambling not allowed for Catholics?  Well, no, that is not entirely accurate.  Gambling, in and of itself, is not a sin.  However, gambling definitely leads to sin; which is why gambling is often shunned.  I know this first hand.  Many years ago, I lost around $200 at a casino and I lost it and threw a fit like an uncontrollable toddler.  It was an ugly sight.  $200 is not a huge amount but it was enough to turn me into a different person.  "Know your limit" so goes the OLG saying.  Now, I know my limit!  So these days, I get the "free" chips from the casino and play enough so I can cash it out.

Anyway, back to our trip to Niagara.  Kelvin's birthday is in January.  So, we decided to take advantage of the hotel deals again.  But this time, I had a few surprises for him.  I picked up the tab for his stay and even organized a surprise for him.  He thought that it was only the 2 of us + family, but there ended up being around 20 people, including my parents, his in-laws, Jit team.  It was a fun trip...and to spoil next year's "2020 in Review" post, we did it again in January 2020!


Selling the Matrix

This section is quite inconsequential...but thought I'd document this for posterity.  Lol.  Just before Renee and I got married, we bought our first car together.  It was a used 2004 Toyota Matrix.  Over the years, it had served us well.  When we went down to one car after Adele was born, we gave it to my dad to drive.  He eventually got a BMW and passed the Matrix to my mom.  My mom then drove it for probably 6 or 7 years.  Finally, after 15 years of good service and almost 300,000 km, we decided to retire it.  I think we even sold it for $1200 (if I recall correctly).  It was such a practical and reliable car!  It had not broken down once and all repairs were of a minor nature.

For this, I love Toyotas so much!  They're just engineered and manufactured so well and last forever.  However, I'm terribly worried about the company.  They are like Blackberry in 2008...not quite sure what I mean?  Well, the iPhone was announced in 2007.  Everyone knew it was the future, but people like Steve Ballmer just mocked it (you gotta click on this link if you haven't seen the video).  I think you know where I'm going with this.  We know electric vehicles (EVs) are the future.  How can they not be?  But Toyota is just so obstinate!  I don't get it.  They practically started the EV revolution by pioneering hybrid technology.  Why do they have such a pathetic EV roadmap?  When they talk the game, what they mean by EVs are hybrids, and not zero-emissions EVs.  This would have been fine 20 years ago when they came out with the Prius.  They've gone from leader to laggard.  It's truly disappointing and sad.


Mom's Surgery
My mom, Susanna, has been my nanny, cook, educator, and Instacart shopper (lol, this last one is a joke) for the past 10 years.  I'm tremendously grateful for her help.  Without her, I don't think we could have gone past 2 kids!

Last year, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was actually not her first diagnosis of this terrible disease.  10 years prior, she was diagnosed with the same and had her first mastectomy.  Her recovery back then was not great.  I recall it probably took her about a week before she was able to get out of bed.  Even then, she was not very mobile.  So, this time, we were very worried about what this would mean.  She was going to get another mastectomy, but she was now 10 years older.

To our surprise, while she had the same surgeon and had the surgery done at the same hospital, the surgery went exceptionally well.  She was also able to have a one-night stay at the hospital instead of a day surgery.  That helped tremendously as well.  By day 3, she was up and about and even cooked lunch (nobody can stop her when she's determined)!  We were really relieved!  She fully recovered in 2 to 3 months.  It's been over a year since the surgery and she's been back to her old self.  Thanks be to God!

We also thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts during this time!

It is important to note...while mom was off on sick leave, Renee did a great job taking care of kids and myself.  She did lose about 5 pounds in this period though! :P


Grandma's Passing and Trip to Hong Kong
In mid April, mom called and told us that she was well enough to come back the following week.  We didn't mind that she took more time off to recuperate but knowing mom, she probably felt it was her responsibility to come back to help when she was able.  That's mom...always going above and beyond!

As fate would have it, on the following day, she got a call from my uncle in Hong Kong informing her that Grandma had been hospitalized.  The situation was not good and so, she booked her flight to go back.  I followed shortly after.  I was glad I did because Grandma passed while I was there and I got to spend her last few days with her.  I wrote about that last year when I was still in Hong Kong.

Not only was I able to spend time with Grandma, I also spent some time with my cousins, whom I had not seen in quite some time.  In fact, it was really my first time interacting on a less superficial basis with my younger cousins, Ka Yue and Ka Pong.  They were born after we had immigrated to Canada and I was glad I was able to get to know them a bit better.  Guys, if you're reading, thanks for your hospitality last year.  It was great connecting with you guys!  I was also fortunate to connect with a few other relatives and old friends, which is always great.  It was too bad I was only there for 1 week...








This trip was also the only time I spent any meaningful amount of time alone with mom.  The last time was probably in 1989 when again, the two of us went to Hong Kong together (wow, some 30 years ago)!  After grandma's passing, we did some touristy stuff in Hong Kong, went shopping, and enjoyed the rest of our time there.  I guess this was the silver lining of the trip.



Family's First Baseball Game

Ainsworth's (where I work) family event this year was a Blue Jays game.  It's been about 30 years since I've seen a live Jays game.  The last time, the Rogers Centre was still called the Skydome (which is what I still call it).  It was a superb game to watch with something like 7 home runs during the game!  Free game, free food - what a great day!  Thanks Ainsworth!


Enjoying Friends' Company
Honestly, God has blessed us with so many good friends that we're so grateful.  I have to say I'm terrible with keeping in touch.  It's never been my strength.  Thanks to all you kind souls; that hasn't kept you out of our lives!

One wintry day, we had a great time with Matt, Jessica, Sophia and Sam at the Science Centre!  They gifted us a membership many years ago and after losing it for a few years, we finally found it.  We gladly invited them to join us.  It was a bit of a hectic and chaotic day, with adults terribly outnumbered (mainly my fault), but we had a blast!

And for all those of you who don't know, the Science Centre has a great reciprocal membership program with other museums.  Within a 8 hour drive radius, you probably have free access to around 10 different museums in Canada and the US.  Definitely keep this in mind!



In 2019, I was also a godfather again!  I'm the proud godfather of everyone in John's family except Joanna!  Their second, Oliver, was baptized and I was so honoured to be godfather again!  Godfather Part III...lol!


In July, we threw Matt (Tsang) a surprise birthday lunch.  The surprise was so good...Matt Siu and I hid in Lai Chuen's pantry and when Matt came over, thinking he was putting up some furniture for Lai Chuen, we scared the heck out of him when he found 2 screaming dudes in the pantry!  We definitely had a good laugh at his expense!


Calvin, Aggie, and their girls Abbey and Alley visited from Hong Kong in December.  We had a great time reminiscing about old jokes like "I...I...I was just saying..."  It was a great way of celebrating Christmas with great, old friends!  Watching Dennis and Calvin shuck oysters was also amusing! :)



Other Highlights
Watching Canada Day Fireworks at the Local Park 

Renee's Grandma Visiting in the Summer 

Starting of a New Family Tradition: A Real Christmas Tree!

Thanks for dropping by!  Stay tuned for more!
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Tuesday, June 4, 2019

When Ethical Issues Hit Home (Specifically, The Family Room)

I love Netflix's service.  I've been a customer since they became available in Canada.  The service is cheap, fast, and has increasingly delivered very high quality original content.  Renee loves to watch Korean drama.  I love to watch zombie shows.  When Netflix came out with Kingdom (a Korean zombie drama), we finally found a show that both of us can watch!

However, this post is not about Netflix's shows.  It's about a much more serious issue.  Recently, the state of Georgia in the US passed a law that disallows abortion on babies whose heartbeat has been detected.  This law is seen as a victory for the pro-life movement.  Unexpectedly, at least for me, Netflix entered into the scene.  They announced that they will be working with the ACLU to fight this law and will be reconsidering its investment in Georgia.

It is one thing for a company to voice its opinion on a matter; it is quite another to take an active role on such a topic.  I think Netflix has crossed the line for me.  If it continues down this path, I believe it would be morally unacceptable for me to continue both paying for its service and owning shares of the company.  After all, part of my money will be going to be used to fight against a pro-life legislation.

So, I decided to write a message to them through their investor relations page.  You can see it below. 

I will be watching this closely to see what actions, if any, Netflix will take.  If it comes to the point where I need to unsubscribe, it will make life very inconvenient for me.  I don't have cable; so what will I watch?  Maybe I can watch Disney+ when it comes out...but unfortunately, Disney is taking the same stance.  What is one to do in this secular world?  I guess this is a cross one must carry.

------
Hi Netflix,

I have been a Netflix customer since you came to Canada and have recently became a shareholder.  While I respect differing viewpoints on the topic of abortion, I am displeased by the recent announcement that Netflix will be using its resources, which partly comes from my monthly subscription fee and my investment in the company, to take an active pro-abortion role.  If Netflix continues down this path, I will be forced to both unsubscribe to your service and also sell all of my shares of NFLX.  I do not have a unique perspective on this topic; millions of your subscribers and investors, whether religious or not, are pro-life.  Please reconsider your position.  Thank you.

Regards,
Felix Wong
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Saturday, May 25, 2019

Want to Fly to Alberta on the Cheap?

Heavily Photoshopped Picture I Took at Moraine Lake, AB

Before we had kids, in 2008, we drove all the way to Victoria, BC in a rental van and had a blast. Driving across the country had always been a dream for me, and 9 years later, we drove to the other end of the country, all the way to Newfoundland! Now that I've been to all 10 provinces, I know where I want to go back to... and that's Alberta!  Banff was such a beautiful place; it's like somewhere you would only see in movies.

The situation 11 years later is a bit different, shall we say? If I wanted to visit Alberta, I might have to fork out $600 for a plane ticket, multiplied by 7!  That's $4200 before I even left the door, never mind accommodations, etc.!  So, I used the tactic that I employed for my trip to Florida, which was to scour the web for cheap flights that fly out from a reasonably close airport (reasonably being within a 5-hr drive...perhaps too much for some).  Ladies and gentlemen, good news for us: I've found a relatively inexpensive way to get there.

Go to Google Flights and search for a flight from YXU (London, ON) to YEG (Edmonton) and you'll find unbelievably cheap flights. For example, on May 25, 2019, I found a round-trip direct flight by Swoop from London to Edmonton for $162, with June 10 to 24 as travel dates. This is peak season we're talking about!



Now, of course, there's a catch. First and you already know this, you have to fly out of London.  I'm perfectly ok with this as I've flown out of Pittsburg which is a much longer drive. My brother Eric living in London also gives me another reason to use the London airport. Second, flight times aren't great. For the outbound trip, you have to fly out at 10:35 pm.  For the inbound trip, it's even worse... 6:00 am!  Lastly, Swoop charges even for a carry-on luggage.

So, let's just say I do take this trip, this is what my cost would look like.

- Flights - $162 x 7 = $1134
- 2 checked luggage - $46 x 2 = $92
- Parking at the airport for 2 weeks - $50 x 2 = $100
- Gas to London - $50
- TOTAL - $1376

This works out to be $197/person!  I'd say that's pretty good!  So, you know where I might be going next year! :)
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Friday, May 3, 2019

Goodbye, 阿婆 (Grandma)!

A few of you know that I'm currently in Hong Kong to say my last goodbye to my grandmother. She passed away on May 2.  This post is part trip journal and part tribute to her.


阿婆 On Our Wedding Day, August 5, 2006


April 28, 2019
I'm 30,000 ft in the air as I write this, on my way to Hong Kong. My maternal grandmother is in palliative care right now in Our Lady of Maryknoll Hospital in Wong Tai Sin, Kowloon.  Her health has been in steady decline since she lost her ability to walk about 7 years ago, and started living in a geriatric home.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer about 11 years ago and had a mastectomy.  The cancer eventually spread to her bones and liver.


Memories from My Childhood
When I was a small child still living in Hong Kong, my parents would drop me off at pre-school, and later on, elementary school, and 阿婆 would pick me up at the end of the school day. I would then spend the afternoon with her until my mother came to pick me up after work. Those afternoons with her make up one my fondest memories of my childhood.

Before she moved to a more modern day apartment, she lived in one of the first public housing projects built in Hong Kong, in today's Lok Fu in Kowloon, which was also where my mother grew up. Her unit (#503 of block 17) was a small rectangular unit with no rooms, kitchen (she had a stove in the hallway/balcony outside), or washroom (a shared washroom was present on each floor), and was no larger than 200 square feet. Her entire family of 5 lived there for many years.  Life there was difficult, but also very interesting.

阿婆 loved playing mahjong, and in many afternoons, she used to play for several hours with me sleeping on her lap. I still have memories of curling up on her lap, looking at the bottom of the mahjong table and listening to the noise of shuffling mahjong.


Life Lessons
Throughout those formative years with her, I learned a number of life lessons.  One of the most vivid memories I had with her happened when I must have been around six or seven years old.  Hearing profanity at that time for me was not uncommon, except I had no concept of profanity.  No one told me that a certain word was a bad word, and so, one day as we were standing near the bus stop where my mom would get off to pick me up, I uttered some profanity in front of 阿婆, not really understanding what I had said. Immediately, her face changed and asked me where I had learned that particular word.  She then went on to give me a lecture on how only rude people would say those words.  I remember feeling horrible and more importantly, learned that one could get into much trouble by inadvertently saying something that wasn't appropriate.  I can't say that I never curse, but I hope most people will agree with me that only during intense moments do profanity come out of my mouth.

She also taught me, through her way of living, that it was ok to enjoy the little things in life.  I remember particularly enjoying cooking instant noodles on a kerosene stove with her, inside her little unit (recall that she had no kitchen inside).  From the lighting of the match, to the sweet smell of burning kerosene, to the wonderful taste of Nissin instant ramen, I loved every moment of this humble life.  To the chagrin of my parents, my afternoon life was often filled with cartoons and less-than-healthy snacks.  I would often get into trouble when my little stomach had been filled with snacks and wouldn't allow for much dinner shortly afterwards.  Now, as a parent, when my kids wouldn't eat at dinner, my first question to Renee or my mother would be, "Did they just have snacks?"

Public Housing in Lo Fu Ngam, Kowloon (circa 1960s)

As you can see in the picture above, the resettlement blocks (as they're called) had long balconies.  阿婆 lived on the sixth floor (don't ask me why the unit number was 503!) and we used to stand at the balcony, look down below and people watch.  One of the most anticipated moments of the day was when the 飛機欖 (an olive based snack) seller came by.  The name 飛機欖 literally means "airplane olive", and why it was called "airplane" was the way it was delivered.  The seller usually had a trumpet and when he came by, he would play it to alert the neighborhood, much like how ice-cream trucks play music in North America.  Kids like myself would then race to the balconies and throw coins down the balcony.  Once he received the money, he would then throw the 飛機欖 up to your floor.  As you can imagine, I loved this whole interaction.  However, I never quite acquired the taste of the 飛機欖 itself.

Another yummy food that used to be sold by street vendors in the neighborhood was 砵仔糕. Mmm....so yummy!  This post is making me hungry!

Now that I am reflecting on this, I realize it has shaped my own way of parenting quite a bit.  Whenever I have a 1-on-1 date with one of our kids, bringing them to Tim Hortons or McDonald's is almost a sure thing.  Perhaps when they're grown, they will remember fondly these little joyful moments with their father.


WWII Stories
In the years leading up to World War II, the Japanese occupied Guangzhou where she lived.  As a young girl, she had learned how to speak Japanese.  I believe she picked it up through working for either a Japanese family or company.  Although she was a bit rusty, she was still able to converse in Japanese well into her seventies.  My favourite dish that she made was Japanese omelette wrapped fried rice.  Although she had never taught me how to make it, I had watched her cook it many a time.  I'm not super great at it, but it is something I can make to impress my guests (or so I think)!  I remember that one year when she was visiting Canada, I surprised her by making the dish for her.  I was expecting her to say, "Oh, you did a good job making the fried rice even though I hadn't taught you."  Instead, what I got was, "The egg is kind of...thick.  Make it thinner next time."  That was a LOL moment!

Omelette Fried Rice Made by Me

The following is a story I like to tell my Canadian friends and it absolutely blows their minds.  If you had met her in her 70s and early 80s, you would agree she looked like one of those typical cute, old Chinese ladies - short in stature, a bit chubby, and has a nice permed hairdo.

Grandma at Adele's Baptism

I've been told when she was much younger and not yet married that she was very attractive.  This did not go unnoticed by a Japanese military personnel stationed where she was living.  Whether he was a lowly ranked soldier or a general is unknown to me, but it would seem that this was not a situation a young woman would want to be in during that time.  She learned that he would come by to where she lived and ask about her.  At that time, my grandfather was married to her older half sister (different mother).  After some discussion with her sister, my grandfather proposed that he marry 阿婆 as well, which would serve as protection for her.  Her attractiveness, I imagine, did not make this proposal a difficult one for my grandfather!  So, 阿婆 became my grandfather's third, simultaneous wife.

Grandma Holding Baby Uncle 志堃 (circa 1948)

This notion of polygamy seems unthinkable now, but if one looks into history, strict monogamy is taught by few religions except Christianity.  As the Western world moves away from its Christian roots, we are now seeing polygamy making a come back, at least in the form of serial polygamy (divorce and remarriage).  I can certainly see polygamy as a next frontier in the ongoing sexual revolution society has been undergoing since the 1960s.


May 1, 2019
Today is May 1, 2019.  It's 10:10 am in the morning Hong Kong time. 阿婆's condition has declined significantly since yesterday morning.  She was very alert and aware yesterday.  When we arrived at the hospital in the morning, she was already awake and stayed that way for a couple of hours. Mom fed her some liquid formula and she enjoyed it. She even managed to look at us and smile.  It was a comforting sight.

Then, at around noon, congee was delivered to the room and Mom tried to feed it to her. Since it was fairly thick, and 阿婆 wasn't able to really swallow, we added some water into her mouth.  That, however, was not such a good idea.  Since she had trouble with swallowing, the congee likely went into her windpipe instead of her esophagus.  She then had some trouble breathing and so, we asked the nurse to try sucking what sounded like phlegm, but was actually the congee, from her throat.  It helped a bit, but since this episode, her condition worsened drastically.  When the nurse came in to do a checkup, she wasn't able to measure her blood oxygen levels.  So, she put an oxygen mask on 阿婆 and turned the oxygen supply to the maximum setting.  The nurse also asked us to call all of our family as things did not look well.

By late afternoon, all immediate family was at the hospital.  My cousin, Ka Pong, who was away in Taiwan, also made it back to see 阿婆.  Renee and the kids also spoke with 阿婆 through the phone, as did my brother Eric and Joanne, his wife.  We all thought that 阿婆 was waiting for everyone to show up before passing on.  However, she did end up surviving the night.


May 3, 2019
阿婆's Last Day
After a quiet day on May 1, Mom and I went back to the hospital on May 2 at around 8:30 am.  When we got there, 阿婆 was awake and fairly alert.  We talked with her and she was sometimes able to respond by nodding or shaking her head.  However, her eyes had that glazed look that wasn't present a few days before.  Since it was just ourselves there at the hospital, we took it easy and relaxed in the hospital room.  Mom then remembered that my dad had not spoken to 阿婆 and asked me to call him.  We put him on the phone and he had quite a funny chat with her, reminiscing the days when they played mahjong with Uncle Paul and Auntie Loretta (Eric's in laws).  When he finished speaking with her, I walked outside and continued chatting with him while Mom stayed inside the room.  After about 5 minutes, Mom came out with a worried look and asked me to go into the room.  When I got there, I saw 阿婆 with an anxious look in her eyes and her mouth opened and shut repeatedly.  We had not seen that in the past few days.  I immediately called my uncle, 志堃, and my cousin Cindy.  Fortunately, Uncle 志堃 was already on his way to the hospital.  Within minutes, he arrived.  阿婆 continued to struggle and at last, closed her eyes and stopped breathing.

I went out to call the nurse and she came in.  She told us that 阿婆 still had a pulse and asked us to get as many family members here as possible.  At around 10:50 am, her pulse had stopped.  The doctor examined her about an hour later and her official time of death was 12:12 pm on May 2, 2019.  The cause of death was pneumonia.  She was 92 years old.

Farewell...But Not For Long
On Sunday, I will be flying back to Toronto.  I feel that this is one of the most important trips I had taken in my life.  My cousin Kelvin (on my father's side) gave me some really good advice when I was still deciding on whether to come back or not.  He said, "人生是一條減數 (Life is a subtraction)."  He recently lost his father and wanted to remind me that as we are past our mid-life, our losses in this life will continue to increase.  So, I thank him for putting things into perspective for me, which allowed me to make the right decision.  I do agree that that is the sad truth that we must all face.  However, I don't believe our bodily deaths are the end of our existence.  It is merely a transition to something greater.

So, 阿婆, farewell...but not for long.  In the face of eternity, what is another 30 to 50 years?  We'll meet again soon enough!
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