This blog is a gift to my wife, Renee, and my children, Adele, Athan, Audrey, Anne, Amelia, and Andrea.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

My Encounter with Racism

When I was between 10 and 14 years old, newspaper/flyer delivery was a major source of income for me.  First, I had a flyer route that paid $20/month for delivering 70 sets of flyers each week to my neighbors.  The job included assembling flyers from multiple stores into one package and then delivering them throughout my neighborhood.  Not every house got a set of flyers; those who subscribed to the Toronto Star would not be on my route, because they would get the flyers included in the newspaper.  So, I would bring a list of addresses with me during the delivery, making sure the right houses got the flyers.  Sounds pretty easy, but imagine doing this in -15°C weather in the middle of a blizzard.  Eventually, I memorized my entire route and could do this without looking at the list (I got to know the houses, instead of memorizing the addresses).  Then, when my best friend Michael moved to Pickering, I inherited his prized evening Toronto Star paper route.  The money was way better from a revenue to work ratio.  I only had about 10 houses to deliver to but the money was similar.

My brother, Eric, also had a paper route.  He delivered the Sunday Toronto Sun. He had around 60 houses on his route.  He was (and is) really smart; he somehow tricked me into thinking that it was a great idea for me to help him with collecting money from the subscribers.  Yes, this was a thing.  In addition to delivering the newspapers, we were also responsible for knocking on the doors of our customers and collecting the money that they owed the Star/Sun.  Every month, we would remit the majority of that money to our managers and retain our earnings.  If we didn't collect all the money, tough luck, we still needed to remit the money.  So, it was in our best interest to collect.

Back to the story, I had forgotten what Eric had paid me, but it was a small portion of his income, while the work was arguably harder.  If it wasn't harder, it was definitely more time consuming.  Folks weren't home all the time and so you might need to go back to the same house twice, thrice, five, eight times to collect the $5 that they owed.  In addition to that, I actually had to interact with people, some of whom were nice and always tipped, but others were miserable and was not afraid to let you know that it was not welcome to knock on their door during dinner time.  Who ate at 5:00 pm anyway?!?

There was one family on Hood Crescent in Scarborough that I would dread going to.  It was the house of a white family with 2 kids, a girl and a boy around my age.  The father would sometimes answer the door and was polite, if not pleasant, but the mother was always upset about something.  If she wasn't complaining about me coming at dinner time, it was something else.  It was always unpleasant with her.  One day when I was 12 years old, I rang their doorbell as usual and she opened the door.  Immediately, a frown appeared on her face.  As you know, I almost always carry a smile on my face and so, I told her, with a smile, that I was collecting paper money and she owed $5.  She mumbled something about dinner time and went back inside to get the money.  When she came back with the money, she said, and I will never forget, "I would rather give this money to a nice white boy."

I was shocked.  I didn't know what to say.  I just took the money and walked back to my bike.  I didn't know what to feel, except anger.  It upset me tremendously.  I rode my bike home, to be met by Eric and my mom.  I was shaking as I told them what the white lady had said.  Then, uncontrollably, I broke down in tears.

After that, I don't quite remember what happened.  My mom probably consoled me and life went on.  But to this day, I still remember that woman's face and more vividly, her words.  It definitely wasn't the first time I was a victim to racism; some stupid kids at school would call me a chink or would tell me to go back to Hong Kong.  This time was different; it came to me, a 12-year-old boy, from a grown up.  I had a very hard time reconciling that in my head. We were taught racism was wrong and not acceptable, especially in Canada, where people of various backgrounds live harmoniously.  Yet, this lady, who had kids herself, would inflict such pain on a 12-year-old boy.  How deep her hatred for people of colour must have run!

Almost 30 years later, as I reflect on this, I am saddened that racism is still such a real thing in the world.  All I ask is that we continue to pray for those who still bear hatred towards those of another race, and to continue to make decisions in our lives, from voting to educating our kids, that denounce racism.  Just like slavery, it will become a thing of the past only to be learned through history books.  I wish to see the day when 12-year-old newspaper boys only need to worry about whether it was dinnertime when knocking on their customer's door.

...wait, are newspapers still a thing? 😅
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Saturday, May 23, 2020

COVID-19 Baby Boom? Is it real? Yes...and No. 6 is On Its Way!


Yes, we have anecdotal evidence that the COVID-19 lockdown has started a baby boom!  Renee and I are pleased to introduce Baby No. 6!  Amelia is now two and a half years old so we're definitely overdue! LOL! This time, we're really going to fill the Odyssey and there will not be any spots for the grandparents! 😭 

The kids are very thrilled with the news and couldn't wait to tell their friends.  The oldest two are praying for a little brother and the younger three are hoping for a baby girl.  We do think it'd be nice for Athan to finally have a brother, and we are running out of "A" girl names as well! 😜

Baby's due date will be early December and I'm really hoping the pandemic will be over by then.  I really wish I will be allowed to accompany Renee during and after the delivery in the hospital.  All of our kids were on the light side and had to stay in the hospital for a couple of nights.  So, it'd be good to be able to be there with Renee and baby.  Please keep us in your prayers!
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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

2019: A Year in Review - Part III: The Kids

If you haven't read Part I and Part II, please do!

How can a 2019 review be complete without talking about the kids?!

Mommy/Daddy and Kid Dates
We have been asked whether with so many kids, the younger ones get less of our attention.  Answer is definitely a yes.  How could it not be so?  Am I worried about it?  Not really!  Think about it this way.  Sure, they get less attention from their parents, but they have so much more interaction with their siblings that I think their social skills are greatly improved as a result.  Imagine that you have 4 other siblings living with you...would your negotiation and communication skills not be much better? Would you not be much better in navigating through conflict?  I think that's a yes.

With the coronavirus lockdown, the benefit of having many siblings is obvious.  Our kids did not once complain that they were bored in the past 4 weeks of staying at home.  In fact, it's pretty much business as usual for them.  With 7 people in the house, there's never a quiet moment!

Now, having said that, we do recognize the need for attention from us parents.  So, last year, we started a new tradition of 1-on-1 Mommy/Daddy and kid dates.  Renee or I would take one kid out on a date and just spend some 1-on-1 time with them.  We use this time to let them know that they're unique, special and are deserving of our undivided attention.  Both of us actually really enjoy it because it's rare that we get to spend some quiet time with each of them.

We don't do anything too fancy.  Sometimes we got out to the mall.  At other times, we go and grab some food or spend an hour or so at Chuck E Cheese.  Some outings are more extravagant, like one time I got a couple of Leafs tickets from work and went with Athan.  The point is that we spend some quality time together.  Before the lockdown, we tried to do a date once every week or two.  It means each kid gets to go on a date with either of us every month or two.  I would recommend that you parents try something like this with your kids!


Adele


Adele turned 10 last year.  She continues to do well in all her endeavours and plays the role of big sister perfectly!  She requires very little attention from us and in fact, helps out with her little brother and sisters.  We're so grateful to have Adele's help as always.

Last year, I started to introduce some programming to Adele beyond what she got at school.  I first got her to take some online HTML/CSS courses, which she had completed, but I felt it was still a bit too advanced for a beginner at her level.  Eventually, in 2020, I found a really good program created by MIT called Scratch, which is very age appropriate and teaches programming fundamentals.  I recommend this to kids 8 or older.

Adele competed in her first triathlon in the summer.  She did very well and I'm so proud of her.  I hope one day, the two of us can run in a race together!  I'm too weak a swimmer so it'll have to be a run or a bike ride!  Sorry, Adele!  Lol!

Adele Running Past the Finish Line in Her First Triathlon

Daddy and Adele Date - Enjoying a Cold Drink at Starbucks


Athan

Athan had a great year last year!  He turned 8 and also had his First Communion this year.  He reminds me so much of myself when I was young.  I was a very playful kid and by that, I mean all I wanted to do was play!  I would moan and whine at the thought of doing homework or studying.  This certainly drove my parents insane, especially during my earlier years in Hong Kong where grades were everything.  I certainly didn't ask for this attribute and now know that's just part of how kids learn, through play.  As a result, I give Athan some leniency in this area.  I encourage play but try to direct him to productive playing (that's a term I just invented).  Instead of letting him just stare at the TV or play video games, I try to switch things up and encourage creativity in the things that he deems fun.

He has matured quite a bit in the past few years.  We no longer need to ask him if his homework is done; he just knows to complete it himself.  He is doing well in school and loves to play soccer.  He's been taking Karate lessons since he was 4, but his interest doesn't seem to be there 100%.  We will be re-evaluating whether to redirect his time and energy elsewhere once he completes his red belt (about half way to black belt).

He's also good help with his little sisters.  Although he loves to taunt them and make them scream, he is more than willing to read to them before going to bed.  He's a fun brother to have around and without Athan, things would just be a bit on the dull side.



Audrey 

Audrey entered Grade 1 this year and turned 6 years old.  Both Adele and Athan started reading fairly proficiently in SK, but Audrey had struggled a bit in SK.  Since she's an October baby, we weren't too concerned.  In September, I asked Adele to help Audrey with her reading.  I'm glad to report that at the moment, Audrey is reading at a Grade 2 level (thank you Adele)!  Her penmanship is also superb.  I look at her handwriting and am a bit ashamed that it looks much better than my own! In fact, she has the best penmanship out of all her siblings!

She took a year of ballet and had her first recital in June.  As you can see below, she was adorable in her little costume!  When September came around to re-enroll, she actually asked not to re-enroll in dance because she wanted to take up visual arts, which is where her real strength lies.  I think she gets it from mommy!  You can see a sample of her work below in Chinese Martyrs Catholic Church's calendar.  Thanks to Grandma for enrolling Adele and Audrey in the competition.  Adele's drawing also made it on the calendar!


Audrey's Drawing Featured on Chinese Martyrs Catholic Church Calendar

Anne
Anne turned 3 in 2019 and this will be her last year at home before she starts JK.  It turns out that the more fair-skinned kids in the family are more rascally than the others! Lol!  She has quite the character and is at the same time lovable and deserving of reprimand!  She's definitely the life of the party!


She started ballet lessons in September and is absolutely enjoying it.  Whenever we have some music playing at home, she would start dancing to the music.  It is really by nature and not nurture that she has this interest and talent.  Since we have more data points in the number of kids (lol), we can confidently say that their interests and talents are usually not due to what we want them to be, but rather, are gifted by God.

Anne also really knows how to tearjerk with her words.  There was one occasion where she was over tired during dinner and was not being cooperative.  I reprimanded her and after dinner when I was changing her into her PJs, she said, "Daddy, I miss you all day (when you are) at work!"  Upon hearing it, I suddenly choked up and was full of regret about how I had reprimanded her earlier.  She's a smart cookie, maybe a bit too smart with her words!



Amelia
Amelia turned 1 last year (2 years old now) and is growing really quickly!  She's running around and talking in full sentences.  Of all five kids, I think she looks like me the most!  She is always smiley and loves to participate in all family activities.  It is really easy to make her cry - just tell her it's nap time or bedtime and she will immediately start whining or be on the verge of crying, because she doesn't want to be left alone in her room; she wants to be part of whatever is happening.

Being the youngest, she's definitely the loudest with her screams and cries; she needs to get the attention!  She's not to be bullied and she uses her voice to ensure that.




We are so blessed to have our wonderful kids!  Is it tough to parent 5 kids at the same time?  You bet!  But boy, do we feel privileged to be their parents!  We hope we're doing an ok job!
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Sunday, April 12, 2020

2019: A Year in Review - Part II: Our Travels

Trip to Tobermory

Before we start...if you haven't read Part I of my 2019 review, go here.

A few years ago, I wrote about the perception of the acceleration of time, that is, that time seems to pass by more quickly as we age.  Since then, I read that this can be explained by our brain activity.  When we were young, everything that the brain experiences is new and the brain needs to process all of that incoming information.  As we age, things start to become mundane and the brain goes more on autopilot.  As a result, time seems to pass more quickly.  This seems like a pretty good explanation to me!

So, a way to slow down how we perceive time passes would be to create new experiences for ourselves.  A great way to do this is to travel.  It doesn't necessarily need to be far away, but just needs to be different from our ordinary lives.  Traveling is also a great way to create memories for ourselves and our kids.  I still remember so much of what we did when we were in Orlando in 2018.  I absolutely advocate going on a vacation each year with the family!  It's much better than spending the money on a certain gadget!


Blue Mountains - June
At the end of June, we went to Blue Mountains for several days.  I actually like Blue Mountains better in the summer than in the winter, probably because I'm a novice skier and can't justify the high cost of skiing at Blue.  In the summer, accommodations are much cheaper and a lot of the places provide access to a somewhat private pool.  The kids don't like swimming lessons much, but they love playing in the pool!

We didn't do much outside of swimming, hiking, and watching movies.  I guess this was a trip more for me than for everyone else! Lol!  I really being able to spend time with Renee and the kids, in a less stressful environment compared to our weekends!  Beavertails were also great!


 


Tobermory - July/August
I've always wanted to go to Tobermory.  For some reason, I'm really attracted to blue, turquoise water!  My parents, my brother Eric's family along with us stayed a week there.  It has recently become an annual family tradition to go somewhere together for a week in the summer.  I really enjoy this time because I get to spend time with Eric and my dad, whom I don't see as often.  You kids out there reading this now...someday, you will grow up and will start your own lives, and you will find that you miss seeing everyday the annoying sibling(s) that you have.  So, treasure the time you have now!

During our trip, we took a ferry to Flowerpot Island that is famous for its flowerpot-like rock formations.  They're pretty cool to look at.  Eric, his sons Nick and Ben, myself, Adele and Athan camped on the island for one night.  There are only a handful of sites on the island so it was quite an experience.

 Flowerpot Rock Formation at Flowerpot Island

Our campsite was close to a dock and we spent some time jumping into the cold water.  Check out the video of my nephew Ben below!

My Nephew, Ben, Jumping Off a Dock into the Cold Water

We also visited the Grotto near Tobermory.  It's one of the more popular attractions there.  The grotto is actually quite treacherous to get to.  To get there, one would need to climb down a rocky cliff.  Aside from a few signs telling you not to do stupid things since people have died here before, there are no stairs, railings, or any other safety measures.  After scoping out the path down, we decided that the grandparents and the younger kids should not go down.

Renee, Joanne (Eric's wife), and the older kids decided to do the climb down, while Eric and I helped get the younger kids settled down.  We brought them with the grandparents to a rocky beach on the other side of the grotto.  Once they were happily settled, Eric and I headed off to the grotto.  Instead of walking back to the cliff and climbing down, we thought it would be easier to swim there.

I wouldn't say it was the worst of ideas, but it definitely was a less than ideal exercise.  We walked along the rocks as far as we could before we had to jump into the water.  Once we jumped in, we realized the water was very cold!  A quick google tells me that the average water temperature in the summer at Tobermory is between 15 and 20°C.  It doesn't sound that cold, but at 25°C, one's breathing starts to be affected by the cold water temperature.  At 20°C, it's considered "dangerously cold" to swim in.  It took us about 3 to 5 minutes to get to the other side, where the grotto was.  By the time we got there, both of our arms and legs started getting numb and it began to be difficult to swim.  Given another 5 minutes in the water, we probably would have drowned.  Once we got there, we were happy to see the wives and kids already in the grotto.  We took some jumps from inside the grotto into the cold water before heading back to the beach.

Aside from these exciting adventures, we also enjoyed movies, whiskey and cigars (the latter two by the men only!).  Overall, this was a great trip and many good memories were made!

Rocky Beach at the Grotto (the Grotto is on the Other Side of the Rocks at the Back) 

The Grotto is at the Bottom


Cherry Beach Resort - August/September
Over the Labour Day long weekend, we, along with Renee's parents, siblings and, her best friend Melissa and husband Danny went to Cherry Beach Resort in Prince Edward County (near Sandbanks).  

The resort is a pretty neat place.  It has a number of different water sports, a swimming pool, basketball and tennis court, and other activities.  The kids got to go on a canoe which was a first for some of them.  Adele, while paddling, hit her own nose with the oar, causing it to bleed profusely in the middle of the lake!  We also spent quite a bit of time playing board and card games, and watching old movies on DVDs (poor internet there).  Adele and I also discovered Sim City on my phone, which we somewhat quickly got bored of.  To cap off the trip, the resort provided a free hot dog dinner along with nice fireworks!  All in all, a really fun trip spent with nice company!

As an aside, Melissa and Danny have a company called ComfyComfy that sells buckwheat pillows, among other things.  If you have neck pain or just need better support sleeping, try their pillows out!  Renee and I have a number of their pillows in our home.  You can also find them on Amazon.  (No, I don't get commissions. lol)

Melissa, Her Daughter Maddy, and Audrey





Finger Lakes, New York - November
For Renee's birthday, I surprised her with a trip to the Finger Lakes in upstate New York.  It was only the two of us who went, thanks to the grandparents who took care of all 5 kids!  I don't remember when our previous "us only" trip was; so this was quite a treat!

Our trip started with a stay at Harbour House in Niagara-on-the-Lake.  Harbour House is one of our favourite hotels in Ontario.  It's super cozy and nice and never disappoints!  They had a packaged deal with a discount on dinner and spa, which was both very enjoyable.  Dinner was at HobNob and our couple's massage the next morning was at Secret Garden Spa, also in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

After our massage, we left for Aurora, NY and arrived at dusk.  We stayed at Wallcourt Hall, which is one of several hotels in the small town, that is owned by Pleasant Rowland, the founder of American Girl.  The town has been revived and has got a nice, small American town feel to it.  There's not much to do there, but it's very scenic and is a perfect getaway for Torontonians who have gotten bored of Muskoka.  The drive from Toronto is around 4 to 5 hours.

Renee Pretending to Read in Our Wallcourt Hall Room 

Our Room Was Really Nicely Decorated

I thought that every Hong Kong immigrant to Toronto has been to the Corning Museum of Glass, since it's one of the stops between Toronto and New York City on the 美東四日遊 (4-day Eastern US bus tour).  To my surprise, Renee has never been there, and since it's been 30 years since I've been there, we spent a day there.  It's a small but very neat museum, and one could easily spend a day there looking at the exhibits and watching the entertaining glass blowing demos.

Corning Museum of Glass

After the museum, we swung by Watkins Glen State Park, hoping to walk on the trails to see the waterfalls there.  Unfortunately, the trails were closed for the season.  We did snap a few pictures at the trailhead.  Maybe we'll be back with the kids in the future!

 Watkins Glen State Park

A few days quickly passed, which to be honest, was enough since we missed the kids.  We were also quite sure they were a handful for our parents.  Thanks again, Mom and Dad!  But before heading back to Toronto, we made a quick stop at Waterloo Premium Outlets which definitely won me some brownie points!  How can a birthday trip not include shopping, right?!

That sums up our travel in 2019.  Although we didn't do any big trips, these small trips were all very enjoyable and they made quite a few memorable moments for us to reminisce on  for years to come!

Stay tuned for my final post on an update on each of our 5 rascals!
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